Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Parenthood

We do not raise children, we raise adults. – Dr Phil

This is so true. Yes, in a way you raise children, but you are mostly raising them to be adults. They have to learn that things are not free, and not everything is done for them. They must be able to go off to college and succeed in the world alone. You can not be with them all the time when they are adults. You teach behaviors, children learn from what you teach them, what you say to them, and what kind of parent that you are. They were not born with bad behavior, it is a learned behavior. If you have ever said something out loud, then later hear it from your child, it can be an eye opening moment of the awful truth. My husband and I believe that everything you do or say to a child before the age of six will transform them into what they will be. It is all up to you as a parent on what and how you teach your child.

As a parent for the last five years, we have learned many things. You learn that your life is not over it just has a new beginning. For those who say your life is over, have never experienced a pregnancy of a loved one, the birth of a child, first baths, teeth, crawling, first steps, or a first birthday. These things are wonderful milestones to any caring parent.

Children do not come with manuals although some parents wish they did. There are several good books to help you along the way, but these books are like people with opinions on how you should raise your children. You take what works for you and discard the rest. Sometimes it gets hard to listen to everyone who has something to say about how exactly you should raise your child right down to what they should wear, what religion they should follow, what music they should or should not listen to, what television shows are best. The advice can be extremely overwhelming.

You know when you take a wrong turn in parenting because it comes back to haunt you. My children have been able to freely watch TV as they wish. They have a TV in their room, and it is always on. When they eat, they want to watch the TV in the living room. Most of the time, the TV is just something going on in the background for my children. Other times they cuddle with their favorite blanket and toys and chill. Every one needs time to just relax.

Today, as I do my daily tasks, I shut the TV off so I could listen to music. That was over an hour ago now. All I have heard for the last hour from Caitlin is “Mom can I watch TV?” “Mom will you turn on the TV?” “I’m going to turn on the TV if you don’t mom” “I don’t like you because your not letting me watch TV.” This is when you realize you have gone too far. Changes need to be made and fast.

I know we have well behaved children, but sometimes they lash out. If you think about it, it is something that we have done or not done that creates this behavior in the child. Everything you do affects your child and their childhood even the small things.

I hope I can steer my children on to the right path in the future. I am going to start some major TV rules today. Wish me luck, I think I need it.

2 comments:

Jen said...

Good luck and lots of it. Try not to beat up on yourself too much though. These habits are so easy to form. Hopefully it will be easy for you guys to break as well. I know alllll about bad habits. If you find a plan that works let me know ;)

InsomniacRed said...

It did not go too bad... I just shut the tv off and vacumed the couch. And anything else in the living room and kitchen that I possibly COULD vac' to drown out the MOM THE TV IN MY ROOM WONT TURN ON! lol I did lots of vac'ing... I even dumped my toaster upside down and vac'ed up the crumbs! LOL

I did let them watch tv after 3pm. Normally its on all day every day... They sleep with the tv on (i set the sleep timer and caitlin turns it back on after it shuts off..lol) and I cant say much, because I fall asleep listening to a cd. hehe

Tomorrow she has school, and Zoe doesnt talk (she says basic things, and is starting to suprise me with things that I never thought id hear from her), so I wont hear much until after school...